Hi friends! Chaotic really got me thinking about how important the vibes are, no matter what content you’re doing. Your attitude can and does affect others, just as theirs can affect you. Personally I’d much rather be around positive, friendly people than irritable, toxic ones. I also think it’s important we remember to give people a chance before judging them, and I hope I’ve learned my lesson.
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chapters:
0:00 – 0:29 Positivity is esp important in an MMO
0:30 – 2:00 Chaotic changed me
2:00 – 2:52 Chaotic brought out the toxicity in everyone
2:53 – 6:27 how others’ attitudes affected me
6:28 – 11:34 I was toxic, and I was wrong
11:34 – 13:37 Friendliness is priceless
13:37 – 15:03 Prioritizing social fun
15:03 – 16:42 Dealing with bad players (don’t be a jerk)
16:42 – 19:14 How to approach HELPING other players
19:15 – 20:17 Everyone starts somewhere
20:18 – 22:53 TAKE BREAKS
22:53 – 24:29 Why it’s so hard to step away
24:29 – 25:32 What’s your toxic trait?
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BTW The fight is 10 times easier when you got a competent shield healer doing just that instead of roleplaying as a dps.
Yeah as I usually tell new players to the game, "remember EVERYONE was a scrub at some point early in the game. YOU WERE NOT BORN ELITE. We all had to crawl before we could walk."
Good manners can get you far. Being a horses 🍑 will get you nothing but ignored.
That Yuweyawata experience reminded me about a Dead Ends run I once had through mentor roulette. I was tanking with three first timers. It was obvious none of them knew the dungeon, so we wiped quite a lot. But not once did I thought about leaving. I decided to help them however I can, and after 50 minutes in that one dungeon, we eventually cleared. It felt so good to help those three clear that one dungeon, I consider it one of the best experiences I've had in this game.
Positivity, attitude, etc., i think its all just a balancing act. Certain feelings will just come up from situations or group atmospheres whether you want them to or not, but if you can recognize those feelings when they show up it's empowering. You're absolutely right about taking a break; you can decide if it's really worth getting upset over, you can decide if you can continue in that group, or if its best to just stop and come back to it later, it'll still be there when you come back!
Those people that call people out also have been beginners in their role and cannot tell me they never messed up! Even in end game people still need to learn cuz it might be their first time experiencing that raid either as their first job or one of their new ones, shitting on people in general is so easy behind a screen yk
This is part of why i avoid raid content besides Alliance or Normal Raid because of the fact toxicity can quite happen in much harder content and that if you spend five to ten minutes every time you wipe, you get tired out. When exhaustion of the mind comes into play, that's when toxic like behavior can slip in without you knowing it. I much prefer to mentally keep my peace of mind and more importantly be myself then let a game become not fun and i get sick and tired of something. It can be insufferable at that and if i can avoid becoming something like that, then wonderful, its a reward in itself for keeping myself in check.
Well, your a miquo girl in contemporary casual glam. I didn't need this video to know your toxic. ;3
Chaotic was the first raid that ever made me toxic in the game. I'm very toxic in real life, but in the game, I'm usually always nice, even in ultimate pf.
I havent cleared the Chaoritc raid yet for this exact reason. Im not a very confrontational person and try to do my absolute best to stay on everyone's good side, but the constant waiting after just 2 or 3 pulls or even if we did just wiping because a few key players arent figuring it out make for an environment where there's not really any patience left and parties just fight n break up repeatedly. It's uncomfortable enough doing weekly savage reclears on pf; 3 times the amount of people seem to just make this too miserable to really feel like any of the rewards are worth going through that.
I just bought the Dais of Darkness mount and skipped the hassle.
Introspection can be really valuable. It's good that you can recognize your own faults, but that's not enough. You have to take steps to improve upon them otherwise the energy you're putting into your hindsight is wasted. So when you admit that you will undoubtedly make the same mistakes again in the future, you're not holding yourself accountable, and it's not fair to the other players your gaming with.
When you say, "When I want something, I want it NOW." This is indicative of instant gratification and the constant need for it. This is extremely toxic, and this is quite possibly the biggest reason why you get the way you do. Getting a clear should never be your primary goal. Your goal should be to have fun and enjoy the journey towards getting your clear. This is especially true in prog.
Anywho, best of luck to you in your future endeavors. You are indeed human so don't beat yourself up too much over it. But always strive to be a better person.
XIV always had toxicity. The worse instance for me was in the " Yellow Lavender " (then known as a community service) Discord to help a DRG prog & clear P6S during EW. I joined VC as was requested, they only saw my name upon joining channel & party in-game. I typed " Hai Hai, came to help ". As we queued in the instance? the DRG saw my character and said in VC with my friends in channel " Omfg a Fk'n Lala player go Fk'n kill yourself. I r l grab a rope. Hang Yourself now. Ong. Fk'n die kill yourself " with a serious tone. They weren't joking… Award winning community btw.
PS: Never forgetting the name " Morven Mclaughlin "
no yea for sure.. I love love love FF, and love FF14… however, the aspect thats supposed to biggest 'draw in' to the game is now actually my biggest gripe with it, and its the community.. or, more specifically, the trolls i guess… the "3 wipes and they leave and gotta go back into PF" sorta ppl.. the ppl that join a learning party and also leave after 15 mins.. like, if u werent prepared to game for 30-45 mins, whytf are u even online? – That sorta ppl… and the fact that its just now a waste of My time dealing with these bozos.. that i'd rather devote my time elsewhere to where i'm not also waiting in a DF for 20 mins to pop an alliance raid, just for it to be CT raid for liek 4958032940245 time.. or in a PF waiting for 10 mins to fill, then to have a troll leave again and go right back to square one.. (all concepts u covered in ur chaotic video).. but yea, im just over all of it..
People have always been like this, tho. Especially in ultimate.
I feel as though I'm never going to get a chance to do chaotic now. I've been gone for a while, taking a break to play other games, and now everyone is way ahead of me in terms of tackling this content. A lot of people have already gotten clears and are onto farming it now, or if they haven't cleared, they're at least knowledgeable to some degree and have tried it many times. I feel like I missed the train. I haven't played it at all, and know nothing about the mechanics. This is the first time in all my years of playing that I've let myself get behind on content like this, and now it just feels awkward to try to jump in SO late and ask anyone to accommodate me while I learn from scratch. ESPECIALLY after all the stories I've heard about how unbelievably toxic the whole scene has been compared to other content.
I think a lot of people have forgotten that you can have fun wiping all night. Honestly, I'd have quit a long time ago if I could just put up a pf and one shot everything.
I agree with almost all of your points. Up until about a year ago, my main game used to be League of Legends. I played the ranked game mode exclusively, and I got super competitive about it, basically tying my whole enjoyment of the game to whether I'd win or lose. It genuinely made me a worse person, I'd get super angry at teammates that would underperform in my eyes, I said things in chat that I'd be mortified to hear from my own mouth in any other situation and I was just not having any fun, losing would put me in a bad mood for the whole rest of the day. I finally quit and started playing FFXIV, which I had dabbled in before, I started Dawntrail about a week ago, it's been so much fun. But anyway, the point I'm trying to make is this: The same way that only caring about winning or losing in league made me unhappy, the same thing is true in FFXIV if you only care about clearing or not clearing. As soon as you stop enjoying the process and only focus on the end result, you're entering a seriously unhealthy relationship with the game. I really think that if you notice this thought coming up in your head, that you're only playing to clear, for the grind, whatever, not for the enjoyment of the game itself, you just need to take a step back and take a break, even if it's hard. Because otherwise you start treating the game like work. You wouldn't, say, force yourself to finish reading a book just because you feel like you absolutely have to. It's fine, put it away, come back later, or don't. And I gotta say, even though there's drama in every community, compared to league, the FFXIV playerbase is a petting zoo. In general, FFXIV players rock.
Reflecting inwardly is always a good thing. Therapy will always tell you that you can't control other people's actions, only your own. YOU can do something to make the situation better, it just requires fighting your instinct to rage and instead channel that energy into a remark that is actually productive and improves the atmosphere of the situation.
I generally don't mind other people making mistakes, but I'm very harsh to my own mistakes. I am certain that by now I should just be doing everything right and when I fail to meet that expectation, I feel I should just uninstall the game and never try again. Some players reinforce that feeling, some players try to be encouraging, but most people don't say anything and that makes it easy to think that they share my negative sentiment against myself
A positive attitude even if things go downhill really is the best way to succeed. In my old static we had a guy who would mercilessly flame everyone. Maybe not right away but he had a talent to drag down morale. Which was the reason the static broke down eventually. You can call it "toxic positivity" all you like, in the end its always better to just put up a brave face and pretend that things arent as bad than doom-saying everything. There is a thing called "self-fulfilling prophecy", and trashing your group members, threatening them, isnt helping anyone.
And yes, thats the reason I wont set foot into Chaotic. I have enough problems with a single jerk in an 8-man group, let along several in a 24-man group. And sadly I dont have time anymore to spend my evenings wiping – whether its with fun people or not.
Yeah I came back when the New DT quest came out, still working on my 730 gear. I am a pretty good learner and even when i say 1st time, no one takes time to even explain they expect you to somehow already know the fight. And they can be extremely rude, its super disheartening because i'm always so nice and try my best. I'd like to do the games hardest content but now i'm just too worried about people ripping me apart without help expecting excellence my first time.
I just remind myself that it is just a game, and expect the other players just to their best. There are certain dungeons I struggle with, and there are dungeons I have no problem at all. Yet, there more important things in life than gaming. At times, it is what is and you will have to go with the flow, but I never want other players to apologize to me if they make a mistake. I do not think the NPC is going to care either way.
goes both ways, it's main reason I quit FFXIV
I love to join clear groups and help ppl even if we don't clear for 5hours I don't mind it at alll, but just help them progress at least. It's very very enjoyable to me
BUT I'm not ok anymore with either playing tuesday morning for savage/hc content or literally need 10x the time to clear in cleargrps cuz 2-3people are constantly unprepared/unfocused simply cause they know they won't get called out anyway.
So FFXIV becomes this constant timewaste cycle of wait for 90%, play, disband the entire thing and repeat.
Playing TnL rn and ppl cry about toxicity, but this toxicity is miles better than the timewaste you get in FFXIV. I don't want to be stuck in hc content every single week again and again as if it's day1week1 in supposed clear groups week after week for months
being forced to play tuesday morning and clear in 1 1/2h or play any other time and need 10h+ is just not ok
I feel terrible myself when doing mistakes/being unprepared, no words are more toxic than jailing my party
Yet in FFXIV it seems jailing ppl is the standard and saying anything is the worst
im glad i quit.
Idk about the whole "you'll get better with practice" thing. I've been maining tank since I started playing in 2018 and I still suck. 😅
Normalize Chaotic raids.
I'm a tank main, and I understand that frustration is part of being human. And when I get frustrated, I'm not going to be the one who blames the group or an individual who's performing poorly, instead i'll get up, stretch my legs, go to the kitchen and drink some water, doing those steps is usually enough to calm my nerves and i'll be ready to go again after that.
But as a tank, I can usually save a bad situation, most of the time I don't have to rely on anyone else, and that's what I really enjoy about tanking, so the frustration rarely gets to me anymore, because I've learnt to deal with my short comings, and I also don't have to care too much about the others, i'll let them be and learn in their own pace, call it tank privilige if you want, but for me it's a way to show new players how to deal with a set of mechanics.