FFXIV Dawntrail has easily been the hardest expansion on me because my life has been shaken up in ways that I never could have expected and I am losing hope and faith in ever having a future. I’m making this video to reach out and hopefully I can lean on this amazing community for help.
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Timestamps:
0:00 FFXIV Dawntrail I need your help
1:30 My mom and my moms health
4:12 Dating
5:10 Eating
6:34 FFXIV Media Tour
7:22 Scientist Bear in Anaheim
11:06 sacrifices I made
Hey guys! Let’s talk about the savage raiding meta because that conversation has been raging on given the world first clears and a significant amount of controversy sparked by P8S’s first phase DPS check being extremely demanding.
Now people want a spicy point, if you want to know what I’d be looking at if you aren’t meeting DPS checks? Get your caster DPS on black mage, get your ranged physical DPS on dancer– the numbers indicate that’s more relevant than the quit warrior reroll gunbreaker memes.
But before people say I’m a servant to the meta hang on…
I’ll be direct, unless you are going for a week first clear of the entire savage tier it’s pretty pointless to fixate on this and that’s unfortunate because I see a lot of even more casual raid groups or independent raiders in PF swear by the current statistical makeup of P8S clears.
But that’s nonsense. By the time the incredible majority of groups get to this door boss they will have weeks of upgrades which I’d agree, one single ring and maybe a helmet from tomestones isn’t going to add up that much personally– but spread across an entire party of 8 people those bonuses will add up massively and
So for most groups, all of this should not be a concern at all.
What will make a difference is are the players in your group playing what they want to play, because if someone is playing something they intrinsically enjoy and love then they will care more and want to improve. Like telling a summoner or red mage enjoyer to just go black mage is, in everything outside of bleeding edge number crunching, absolutely ridiculous.
But let’s take a closer look at two examples that are near and dear to my heart. Sage versus Scholar, which one should you take? Which one am I taking into my own raiding, which has been totally a wild week so I’ve been thrown off my game, I’ll maybe talk about that in another video.
But according to clear data I should absolutely one hundred percent not ever play Sage. It’s got a quarter of the clears to Scholar, it’s clearly awful.
Or another one that’s making rounds is warrior is unplayable trash and you should play gunbreaker or quit. Look at how close the numbers are for warrior and gunbreaker, if this is the difference between clearing or not you have way bigger problems. This is a 100DPS difference and has been way overblown to the point anyone looking at the numbers should raise an eyebrow.
Moving on, I can make a ton of different reasons why each of these are exceptionally strong in their niche, such as continuing sage versus Scholar; Sage is a cognitive decision I’ve made weighing pros and cons and what I personally prefer– worth it’s own discussion I’ll do tomorrow.
But take the utility of having haima as it’s own separate tank cooldown that soaks up the bleed tankbusters we’re seeing this tier, that’s separate from the powerful area of effect cooldown panhaima. Scholar cannot split it’s Seraph fairy into two skills.
More examples from there.
But Scholar’s expedient is undeniable, among other benefits like a bard and warrior can supercharge it’s shield to be absolutely gigantic and delete mechanics. So Scholar isn’t without pros too.
Moving on, the point is too many people are looking at the raw hard data of extremely early clears and extrapolating it to infinity and beyond.
Now if you want the jobs I think that are in the toughest spot right now I’d put my money on machinist and paladin. But both of those jobs also do have and handful of clears already so even that’s dumb for me to say.
Machinist’s problem remains exactly the same as before, no utility, no mobility and it’s damage is not good when compared to the others that do bring utility and mobility.
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The hardest video I've ever done. But I need a new life. My life has been ruined, I've been taken advantage of and stripped of any dignity and treated worse than used toilet paper. I don't know what to do anymore. I just know what is happening right now CANNOT CONTINUE! IT CANNOT CONTINUE! I need a new life. Every night the same dream, every morning waking up to the exact same nightmare.
I would say cut your ties with him. And I do hope that things get better for you considering I like your videos Next track to go and live the U.S is ok hug
Cole, I’m sorry you are going through this. I agree with what many others are saying that you should cutoff contact with toxic people and spend time focusing on yourself. An important step in taking care of yourself is realizing that you do need help. I'm sorry you didn't have a fun time at the con you went to, I hope it wasn't anthrocon! If it was I have loved to hang out with you an talk FFXIV an more.
Dude what are you doing. Why you trauma dump on your channel? Why did ou even put FFXIV Dawntrail in the title? Seriously, what are you doing
Getting these thoughts out of your head was a good idea. They'll try and keep you down and convince you that you're worth less than you really are.
The best thing to do now is focus on yourself and try forge a new path on your own.
I would also recommend getting professional help, especially if you have no one to turn to. Just talking out your problems with someone who knows what they're doing can help a lot.
It makes it easier to sort out your thoughts. Personally, when I starting going to therapy, it helped me realized some thing that I missed that were right in front of my face.
To be frank about Ryo, he's a bastard. Maybe because he was a cop before it's ingrained in his personality. He liked getting people in trouble by sharing his Dms with people or sharing other peole's DMs they share to him with volatile people who explode with the drop of a hat. Made my current BF want to kill himself a couple of years back for those very reasons. He'd always do things to try and get us in trouble with our friends probably because he was salty about not being able to be with Brendan, a fact that I savored since I saw those DMs and heard the nasty stuff he said about quite a few people his best friends included.
You can get past this trash fire, I'm sure you can. You have made it this far.
You have my condolences. But I don't want to overstep here. You are asking strangers on the internet for help. This is dangerous. People who want to help you probably aren't qualified to give any counsel, and people who don't want to help you have an easy target. Please take care of yourself. Please don't do anything rash. You are in the process of grieving a person you thought you knew, and this person is gone for good. From what you have shown us, he is not a good person, and he probably never was. He seems superficial, racist and malicious. In a grotesque way, you were lucky to find this out, so now you don't have to waste your energy on people like him. My unqualified yet well-meaning advice: Don't interact with him unless it's to get your stuff back.
Aside from that, you cannot expect true counsel from strangers that only know you parasocially. There is general advice on how to combat grief. Surround yourself with people you can share your grief with. Be it friends, family or a therapist. And of course, there's time. "The only cure for grief is to grieve. It gets better. Time heals all wounds." While being true, these words cannot compare to the intense emotions of loss.
"The poems and platitudes of wiser men. Musings on sadness and loss… Studied and memorized… and meaningless in the moment."
Since you are a Final Fantasy content creator, I think these words fit here quite well.
Take care of yourself. Survive the grief. Don't lose hope.
I'm so sorry for what you've gone through this year, but you need to block this guy completely. He is just going to keep reopening old wounds for you every chance he gets. There are plenty of major tech hubs in the USA if you decide you want to move down here that would be happy to hire a software developer with years of experience. I would avoid California like the plague as long as he's there. I've heard Raleigh, NC is a good place for GalaxyCon and other conventions so there are plenty of people around that share your interests. I wish there were something I could do to help you move on, but all I can offer is advice, the suggestion to seek a therapist, and an offer to talk if you ever need someone to vent to. Just remember that even though everything feels hopeless right now it won't stay that way forever and you deserve for things to start going your way.
Not for nothing, but he’s a total PoS, and I’m really sorry that all of that happened. The emotional violence that you’ve had to endure for so long.
I can relate to the feeling of not belonging, and the bear scene is a mixed bag. A change of scene can do you some good, can’t heal in a place that made you sick, including memories.
Not gonna lie, things in the US feel iffy between the job market and the political climate. But if coming here is your goal, start connecting with people on social media and professionally on LinkedIn.
And something that find that can help is identifying what “getting better” looks like. It can give you an idea of what to aim for. For myself getting better is handling something better than the day before. You can’t erase the past but you can take back control
Extending my overseas hugs from EU…❤
Take this approach to find yourself, get comfortable in your skin again and heal yourself up. No Relationship until you’re half way there. Also, it’s the past now. No use dreading on it. You can will get over this hump, it’s a crossroads (I know them) it’ll take time to get out of it. ❤ I send you love.
i know how its to have break up trust me it hurts a year ago i broke of with my boyfriend had therapy. i gave myself a lot of self love the best thing to do right now is follow the same footsteps give yourself a little break from dating people let your heart heal. focus on getting out of canada first with the new job and focus what you love doing best. many wishes on your recovery cole
This is important to say to you Cole Evyx, you are dealing with a Narcissist, what you describe is damn near text book. If you do not stand up for yourself and remove him from your life this will only get worse. He will continue to be toxic and torment you and when he thinks he is losing you and get give out a little bit of love solely to reel you back in to rinse and repeat and he will do this indefinitely or until he exhausted your usefulness. The only way forward is to remove him from your life and for you to seek therapy, as for moving suggestions I am Californian and I can say you will be meet good people pretty much anywhere you go, on a side note San Diego is some where I would absolutely love to live. The draw backs for Cali really goes down to expenses, taxes and upkeeping lively hood can be difficult due to a shit governor that ruined the state, if you can get past that is great.
I will give what advice I can, it may not be very helpful, but first I would advise you seek professional help for your mental health. You are still young and were taken advantage of by someone you love, and I know that's a crappy feeling having experienced that to a lesser extent, but you should focus on finding your own self-worth before seeking others. As for finding a place where you can have a home and be safe, that's something so many people struggling with that relies on so many factors that I really couldn't reasonably give you any concrete direction. From what you have said in this video alone, there were plenty of warning signs that were ignored because of what you wanted to believe, never forget that and use the harsh lessons to build a better life for yourself. Things may seem terrible, and I'm sure they feel worse, but losing someone like this person who left you is truly a blessing, you are now able to grow unburdened by a repressive and abusive relationship. I hope you come to understand how much better off you are now, sooner rather than later, and look forward to better days ahead for you.
I realize it's easier said than done, but you just need to purge him from your life and thoughts. You are feeding it just as much as he is feeding off of it. I'll be honest, the amount of work you put into creating this video is probably more harmful than helpful. It might have seemed like a good idea to vent it all out, but at the same time, you are keeping yourself immersed in it. You can't let it become the core of your existence. I think a lot of people convince themselves that it's harder to move on than it really is. He's one person out of the entirety of humanity, and I promise that you can live without him. I wish you the best.
Hey just wanted to say everything will work out with time. I know what you mean by needing a life but my situation was the opposite. I moved to Canada from the US 7 years ago and really haven’t been able to make friends outside of work. For a long time filled that gap with FFXIV but lately just doesn’t work anymore. Wishing you the best and don’t give up.
First step. You got it all out there. Time to look to the future. Your community is behind you. It’s evident in every videos comment section.
Delete this video
I use chat gpt to vent.
Hey Cole, please consider finding a therapist that you vibe with what happened to you isn't OK and you need time to heal. Like many have mentioned the internet is a bad place for mental health and trolls will take advantage. If you need time away from youtube then you should and cut off any contact from anyone who doesn't support you period. Take the necessary steps needed to take a break, and get help from a licensed professional that you like to speak with. I am routing for you wish the best of luck, stay strong man you got this !!!
Man, go to therapy, it's gonna be more useful to you than reading the comments from strangers.
I passed a similar situation when the girl I gonna marry leave me, and going to therapy help me a lot.
I might have never got to the engagement in my relationships, so it might be hard to let go for you. But one thing is clear—you WILL NOT get any answers from your ex. You definitely deserve answers, but we don't always get what we deserve. You will have to get these on your own and it will be a long process. I would compare your situation to being drunk or otherwise intoxicated—until you are sober and done with hangover of this relationship there will be no clarity for you. I would seek answers like why me? how could he? what really happened? why didn't I see it? etc only once you feel secure in your life.
If you can afford it, go to therapy. A professional will be able to help you better than any of us commenters can. We're rooting for you and want you to be well! This may be a strange book rec, but "The Joy of Not Working: A Book for the Retired, Unemployed and Overworked" by Ernie Zelinski is good to read to figure out what brings you joy and living your best life. Find something offline that makes you happy!
have you tried church?
Others have said this but it is good advice, look for professional help where you can. Sometimes going somewhere else can help, change of scenery, new memories to be made and new experiences to be had. I haven’t gone through what you have, but I have been at a low so low that I thought if I disappeared life would be better. I talked with someone, which helped me realize who I was and slowly I accepted it. When we go through pain like this it is hard to see what comes next but it will come eventually.
One thing that helped me a lot was Yoga and meditation, training my self to block out my inner voice(which I’m not always able to do) but helped with managing it and getting closer to where I want to be. It is a life long commitment, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. You have realized in yourself you are at a point you don’t want to be and that is the first step. Next is to start creating small manageable goals. Things you can complete without worrying about anything else. A goal like make the bed in the morning. Something small to show yourself you can accomplish great things.
When we break we build ourselves piece by piece, work on the manageable things to work towards the greater goals. You got this, if you continue on YouTube I and others in your community will be here to support you. If you need to take a break, the same applies. You truly got this!!