YOUR FINAL FANTASY 14 FAILS! | We got so many! (Final Fantasy XIV)



The thrilling next step in Garrett’s quest to feel better about being such a DPS dunce.

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40 thoughts on “YOUR FINAL FANTASY 14 FAILS! | We got so many! (Final Fantasy XIV)”

  1. No joke, I NEVER let my durability get to 0. Ever. I repair it religiously. As a crafter, you can repair to above 100% durability, and my cue to repair is when it gets back below 100% and the color of the durability bar changes. You can see these colors on the little inventory blips at the bottom of your screen. I wouldn't say I have OCD in general but the only time I don't catch those color changes immediately is when we're doing back to back pulls in raid prog.

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  2. Paladin… sure has a questline. Wouldn't blame anyone for skipping/skimming that dialogue, especially the Heavensward part. When you have one of the central characters yell that they don't understand what's going on and neither do you, that's not a great sign.

    Level 60-70 portion is pretty neat, though. But man is that 30-60 section weird.

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  3. I can't think of any personal FFXIV raiding fails that are quite as memorable as the single moment, twenty years ago, when I went into a 40-man Onyxia raid and summoned Gnomish Battle Chicken. Main tank called for DPS off so he could build aggro. The chicken could not be unsummoned and cast a mighty Battle Squawk. Onyxia turned and flame breathed the entire right flank.

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  4. For me, the "oh" moment was in e6s. I've started raiding in Shadowbringers shortly after the release of the first Savage Raid tier. I killed e1s-e4s and e5s once that dropped before looking for a static. The first feedback I got (I was playing scholar at the time, even though I've killed the first savage tier on all roles) was "Hey, you may want to use Chain Strategem", while the second was "Could you Deployment Tactics your Adloquium".

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  5. Most of them I can understand, particularly the one with staying Pugulist, since the class to job upgrade, unlike the class/job quests, doesn't pop up in the upper left corner and looks like any other blue quest in the UI.
    But what I can't understand is thinking that the front counts as sides. How can you make that mistake? It isn't just a matter of game mechanic but words. It's in the very definition of the word "flank" itself, that it's specifically the sides and not the front or rear. How do you assume that the game mechanics would use a word in the opposite way of the inherent meaning of the word?

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  6. OH @15:26 this reminds me! At one point in Endwalker they moved Stalwart Soul (Dark Knight AOE combo) from level 72 to level 40, BUT if you happened to be between those levels when that was implemented, like a certain friend of mine, it a) did not tell you that in game, and b) did not add the ability to your hotbar. He was running around well into the 80's not even knowing it existed lmao

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  7. Have a two-fer: Back when healers had Protect, there were a few times early in my ARR career I'd forget to put it up at the start of a dungeon run. A couple years later, ironically, I'd refuse to put it up instead of forgetting, especially if I was running any of the first five or six dungeons on Sch, because I had grown a little prideful of my healing abilities. The best part was trying to learn this game on a laptop that could barely pull 24fps on a good day, and finally switching to something better after said laptop was pulling 1fp2s. Yeah, that's one way to learn . . . that I do not recommend to anyone.

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  8. Recently embarrassing story from the other day.
    I joined a party in party finder they wanted to do Duty Roulettes for Trials and then Normal Raids after and I wanted to help out. Trial went fine then we tried to queue into the Normal Raids but it said one of the party members didn't meet the requirements. People in the party were asking everyone if they had Normal Raids unlocked, I thought they meant the Duty Roulette Normal Raids option and I was like yeah I have it unlocked so its not me. The party was getting frustrated then someone asked 'does everyone have Alex unlocked?' I'm like 'Alex? like Alexandria or…' dawned on me that they were trying to queue for the Alexander raids which I haven't unlocked yet. I didn't realise I needed to have all the Normal Raids unlocked as I only had Endwalker and ShB ones unlocked. But by the time I realised I was the problem they'd disbanded the party and agreed for everyone to queue in normally. I didn't go lol. If anyone from that party is reading this I'm sorry I didn't do it on purpose 😂
    p.s. also yes as a Dancer main i do on occasion forget to dance partner or i do it but for accidentally turn it off again by mistake and i get super embarrassed every time that happens lol

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  9. The reason macros are bad is they do not buffer. So no matter how fast you mash, you cannot do as well the basic ability (you're at least half your ping late I think)

    But its "ok" for oGCDs if you're weaving them after a GCD where you have more time than you need for the oGCD to weave.

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  10. Red mage at the end here, I actually love Verraising people! To the point where I asked my static if i could play RDM instead of a physranged. It lost us the 1% stats but made our prog through Arcadion so much smoother. I was even buying mana potions just so I could rez more people in the new Chaotic fight.

    Being able to continue a run when both healers are tanking the floor is SUCH an ego boost. It really does Ver-raise my spirits haha

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  11. Noooo! Focus target on boss as a healer! So when the boss does that big attack like “twister” in Orthos, you can see it while you are busy healing the tank or rezzing the DPS!

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  12. My confession: I jumped into savage on Pictomancer without learning my proper rotation. It was first hard content as a DPS role, and I felt I was failing all the mechanics trying to pay attention to my hotbars.

    I did clear the tier week2, but I'm sure all the PF groups hoping to get carried by insane Picto dps were thoroughly disappointed.

    I have since practiced my opener and can finally see my trees in color 😅

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  13. Last year when I joined a group for learning Ultima Weapon Ultimate I decided that as a main tank I wanted to try something new so I played astro. All went pretty well until we were quite deep in prog and I noticed that the pots I'd been chugging were intelligence potions…. but healers in FFXIV don't scale off intelligence they scale off mind… oops

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  14. Omg I think I was in that healers party years ago that didn’t understand the Dohn Mheg tethers. I have a very clear memory of having a party member that just couldn’t do that mechanic.

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  15. Missed the submission, but will throw mine in too:

    First time trying endgame stuff was when my FC did Endwalker EX learning parties starting with Zodiark. First attempt I accidentally ninja-pulled by swiftcasting my first spell 5 seconds prepull, then backflipped off the arena by hitting displacement instead of my gap closer in my opener. Died before the boss even did a single attack.

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  16. shame missed the submission for this. My fave embarrasing raid moment was doing Baldesion Arsonal and a party lead so my mic was on, since we use discord for announcing mechanics and if things go wrong. Last boss has a ring around it with rectangular platforms to get within melee range. Got it down to the last 10% and raid lead goes "Use your LBs as soon as possible after this mechanic resolves". Part of the way to resolve it for my group was to go onto the ring. Mechanic resolves, I use LB as a dragoon. Had no idea that, at the time, the dragoon LB3 moves the character forward, went right off the ring and died. Forgot my mic was on and cackled with laughter finding what happened pretty funny, 55 players subjected to my laughing. We still won but had to explain what happened after it finished.

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  17. I'mma throw my own hat into this. I only learned about focused targeting yesterday. Thank god for it because progging Ucob as a healer is difficult if you don't know when Twisters are coming among other things.

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  18. #1. Thank you for absolving me <3 (in the comment immediately before the one I'm timestamping below). Also all PLD agree with Garrett's assessment of the story. (Note: 70-80 is fun for … reasons … that you will discover.)
    #2. 29:46 As far as I'm aware, there's exactly ONE front positional in the game … on Blue Mage. Goblin Punch is a spell used for tank-role Blue Mage, and I believe that's the only thing that cares about being used "in front of a target."

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  19. the irony of them talking about focus targeting when most people focus target the boss but there first go to was a party member is just funny to me because for me its focus target the boss always especially on healer so when I am targeting a party member for healing I can still see mechanics being casted.

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  20. @30:00 There used to be a front positional attack in the game called "Sneak Attack" from ninja. Why a frontal attack was called "sneak attack"? Who knows

    Edit: I just remembered, there is a front positional attack in the game right now called "Goblin Punch" for BLU.

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  21. I have in fact never entered a dungeon with fully broken gear or ever had all my gear break in a dungeon but that comes from being a crafter and repairing my own gear when ever it gets to below 100% which means if its at 99% I repair it up to 199%

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  22. Started back in 5.0-5.1 and a friend invited me to a super casual group. The issue that kept occurring was that i made several mistakes repeatedly, but due to the nature of the group and my noob brain, i did not catch on until the next raid tier.

    Spent the first three fights on Eden's Gate, my first savage tier, without using Burst Strike (cartidge spender outside of burst window). No one really told me i was doing something wrong. Just eventually thought "Hey wait, maybe I should be using this", and suddenly dps checks were a lot more manageable.

    Also had an instance in E1S where I thought i had to bait something that the ranged players and no one noticed it was me (we never died to it since the melees and tanks didnt have to bait anything). I was doing this for WEEKS and we cleared with me doing that over and over again. On the plus side, i got really good at baiting that mechanic. 😅

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